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How To set Boundaries with people who Drink

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Communicate with those who drink when you are no more? It’s real, but it might take more trust, communication, and more self-care.

Here are ways to set boundaries with friends, family, and partners when alcohol is still part of the relationship.

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It’s okay to avoid risky situations

It’s hard to say no to the usual leisure time, but a party at a friend’s place or a trip to a nightclub is likely to be too much of a temptation, at least at first. Politely saying “no” to an invitation does not mean that you are giving up your friendship, but it does mean that you are saying “yes” to your sobriety. Alternatively, you can invite friends to your place and arrange for them a tea party or a non-alcoholic dinner with tables.

Veronica, sobriety coach and creator of the Soberness program, says: “The longer we stay sober, the more our boundaries about drinking change. In the beginning, it can be difficult for us to be around alcohol and people who drink. However, the stronger your sobriety, the more comfortable you will feel when communicating, even when others are drinking, it will not be stressful for you. “

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Change your routine

Until you feel comfortable around alcohol, or people who drink in general. It is better to choose other meeting places. Chatting over coffee or tea. Go to a yoga or meditation class with a friend, or take a walk with a colleague in the park instead of the usual after-work bar gatherings.

It took more than a year until I stopped wanting to drink every day, although there were especially difficult moments. For example, in the past, the process of preparing dinner always included alcohol, and after lunch on Friday, there was a persistent feeling that today you need to get drunk. I started listening to podcasts while cooking to take my mind off drinking and started running on Fridays.

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Communicate positively

Ian Stockbridge, a teacher at Mindfulness & Life Coach, says that we don’t have to share personal information about our addiction, especially with those we see for the first time in our lives or with people we don’t trust. Saying “I’m an alcoholic” or “I’m being treated for an addiction” is perhaps the hardest admission we’ve ever made. This is partly due to self-esteem, partly to fear of judgment. If you decide to come out on the topic of quitting alcohol or other psychoactive substances, remember that the way we conduct a conversation is more important than the phrases we use. Therefore, there is less drama, more calmness, and positiveness.

Perhaps someone will not understand you (not all people are in the subject) and will want to ask clarifying questions or ask how best to support you. If you don’t know what to answer or for some reason don’t want to go into details, don’t worry or panic, just say “don’t know” or “not ready to answer yet”.

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Rate relationships

Since we set boundaries for ourselves with people who drink, we also have to evaluate situations and relationships. Therefore, it is important to ask yourself: does this help me? This relationship – is it right for me? We must also recognize that while we can set boundaries, others also have the right to tell us that those boundaries do not fit them. Losing people can be painful, but true friends and loved ones will respect our decisions while also taking care of themselves. Neither self-flagellation nor self-sacrifice is healthy or beneficial.

There is a reason why we stop drinking. Try to remember that suffering from alcohol dependence is much worse than suffering from the discomfort of setting boundaries. You deserve a better life.

Read Also : The Alcohol detox diet

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